Woman Today: Benefits of Baby Massage

Benefits of Baby Massage
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Admin on 17/05/2010 05:20:00

As a new or existing parent for that matter one recon that a baby is just that,
a baby. You feed, love and take care of it's every need

As a new or existing parent for that matter one recon that a baby is just that,
a baby. You feed, love and take care of it's every need. Lift the legs; wipe the
bum, and being overly tired and exhausted feeling that you don't even have
enough time for your self.  We were taught by our mothers who in turn were
taught by theirs how to take care of this little creature that turns our lives
upside down.
They just never taught us that we need to respect the little person by asking
permission before we do anything with such a baby that now includes teens,
toddlers and children of all ages. We just automatically assume that we are the
parents; they will do as we want and like we say. ASK PERMISSION, what nonsense
our elderly mothers and grand mothers would say. If only we can change this
perception that children should be bent according to our will, but respecting
them as a person, the outlook in the world might change, people will respect one
another and we might just get the climbing crime rate to fall. Criminals are not
born their created, by society. Now if Respect was taught from a young (new born
age) would 90 % of criminals turned to crime or rather crime solving? It is not
for me to say, I can only speak from own experience on the subject, but that
later in a true story.
Baby massage is a tool to parents and care givers to teach a baby, toddler,
child or even a teen about respect, respect for others, them selves and teaching
them to say no, to people wanting to touch without permission. They learn from a
young age to understand the difference between a good touch and a bad touch.
(Bad touch being that of a person invading such a child's privacy - pedophile or
molestation)  It is never to late to start with massage. The benefits for
children are enormous and like wise the parents also benefit from this.
*Benefits of massage for infant, toddler, child and teen:
Develop and enhance body image
Supports the bonding process
Improves blood circulation, digestion and inner equilibrium (balance)
Convey a consciousness of love, acceptance and security
Baby learns to relax and become calmer
Baby feels respected (So does older children for tnat matter)
Can improve sleep patterns
Stimulates a sense of well being
Furthering development of digestive tract and respiratory organs
Reduction in colic symptoms and digestive problems
*Benefits for ParentsBonding and relaxation
Communication, verbal and non verbal (This is especially good for teens as it
gives them an opportunity to open up)
Increased parental competence
Fun and joy
Positive effects extend to other relationships
Group gatherings for massage training-outing for parents and sharing experience
Knowing all the benefits and not understanding Bonding will not be beneficial to
any one, therefore I will explain bonding and give a little personal experience
in this regard to proof that it is never to late to start with massage, nor is
it ever to late to start the bonding process or to show respect.
THE BONDING PROCESS:
My definition of the bonding process:
My definition of bonding is the process that can start at any time, by which a
parent and a baby or young child make a connection with each other, and start to
build a relationship. This relationship will be unique to them and others may
not understand their bond in comparison with others. This bond will be the basis
for that baby and young infant or child to developing their sense of self and
the ability to bond in the future with their own children and with other people
in their life's. The bonding process therefore is a moment or a lifetime
experience; never can it happen to soon, or too late. It is the love that grows
between a parent and a child, affection between two people that turn to
attachment. An bond to be cherished and nurtured. Something worth to be
encouraged and promoted.
The bonding process:
Bonding according to me is a process that starts already in the womb. As the
mother rubs her belly, protectively keeps her hand on her belly and reassuringly
speak to the little one. Even so the bonding between daddy and baby or other
siblings start, as they talk to mommy's stomach and rub over it with their
hands. Baby inside the womb can hear them and feel the touch. After birth it is
a whole different story. Mommy might fall in love with this little pink raisin
immediately or not. Moms feel guild ridden if their do not fall in love with
their new princess or prince immediately. However love grows over time, and so
does bonding.
Bonding according to Medici is the intense attachment that develops between
parents and their baby. It makes parents want to shower their baby with love and
affection and to protect and nourish their little one. Bonding gets parents up
in the middle of the night to feed their hungry baby and makes them attentive to
their babys wide range of assorted cries and needs. "Scientists are still
learning a lot about bonding. They know that the strong ties between parents and
their child provide the babys first model for intimate relationships and foster
a sense of security and positive self-esteem. And parents responsiveness to an
infants signals can affect the childs social and cognitive development."
Enhancing the bonding process:
Eye contact is described as a powerful medium for bonding, as it is reported
that some mothers say they only started feeling close to the baby the moment
they made eye contact. Eye contact is also a form of communication, and could be
the first linkable communication between parent and child. Bonding can be
enhanced by eye contact, skin to skin touch and massage. Communicating in soft
tone and gently touching the baby. By reassuring the baby and loving it.
Baby bonds through the following actions and ways it interacts with their
parents:
Touch becomes an early language as babies respond to skin-to-skin contact. Its
soothing for both parent and baby while promoting babys healthy growth and
development. Encouraging the parent to massage the baby can also help the
bonding process get well on its way.
Eye-to-eye contact provides meaningful communication at close range. Babies love
to be held close, to see what they hear and specially to have mommies face close
in the early days reassure them and makes them feel safe and secure.
A baby tries - early on - to imitate your facial expressions and gestures.
Playing and interacting with the Baby at close range will help them with their
cognitive development and the bonding process. It helps them understand and
differentiate between facial expressions linked to emotion.
Babies prefer human voices and enjoy vocalizing in their first efforts at
communication.
Daddies now spend more time with their infants than dads of the past did.
Although dads yearn for closer contact with their babies, bonding frequently
occurs on a different timetable for dads, partially because they dont have the
early contact of breastfeeding that many moms have, or new moms tending to
exclude them from the bonding process by alienating him during essential bonding
tasks.
But dads should realize, early on, that bonding with their child isnt a matter
of being another mom. In many cases, dads share special activities with their
infants.
Early bonding activities that dad can experience together include:
participating together in labor and delivery
feeding (breast or bottle); sometimes dad forms a special bond with baby when
handling a middle-of-the-night feeding and diaper change
reading or singing to baby
sharing a bath with baby can also be very soothing for a fussy baby.
mirroring babys movements -mimicking babys cooing and other vocalizations - the
first efforts at communication
using kangaroo pouch, for daddies on outings or just hanging around the house
letting baby touch you - feeling the different textures of dads face, for
example
Massaging the baby for example on alternate days
Disturbance in the bonding process:
Bonding may be delayed or disturbed by various reasons.  At birth or after an
adoption, you meet your baby, reality may make you adjust. Gone is the time for
your self. The quite is disrupted by constant cries. You start feeling like the
worlds washing is dumped on you and there are just not enough hours in a day to
wash and iron all these demands.
Because a babys face is the primary tool of communication, it plays a critical
role in bonding and attachment. Hormones can also significantly affect bonding.
Nursing a baby in the first hours of life causes the outpouring of many
different hormones in mothers and infants. Sometimes mothers have difficulty
bonding with their babies if their hormones are raging and they have postpartum
depression. Bonding may also be delayed if a moms exhausted and in pain
following a prolonged, difficult delivery.
If your baby spends some time in intensive care, like mine did, you may
initially be put off by the amount and complexity of equipment. But bonding with
your baby is still important. The hospital staff can help you hold and handle
your baby through openings in the incubator, and will encourage you to spend
time watching, touching, and talking with your baby. Hospital personal should be
trained to encourage you to touch the fragile being in the incubator. It scares
you out of your mind seeing that fragile being full of tubes and wires.
Questions such as what if I do something wrong prevents parents not to touch the
baby. This scenario could be the start in the delay in the bonding process. All
too easily parents don't realize they haven't bonded with their child. Taking
care of the child's needs, feeding and tending to their cries does not always
imply that bonding has taken effect.
Bonding can also be delayed if your child is born with special needs. The
relationship between parents during and after birth can also disturb the bonding
process.
True Story
My son was born with severe apnea and was taken from the womb to the incubator
and tubes pushed in everywhere and wired up to all those monitors he looked
worst than Robbo Cop. I was fast asleep until that afternoon, nobody bothered to
wake me and tell me that my son was in Neonatal ICU. The Caesar was performed
already. As I came to I asked for my baby and the nurses response was "didn't
anyone tell you your baby stopped breathing he is in ICU?" My hart skipped a
beat. Being a single mom I had no one to phone to support me. I dragged myself
out of bed, the nursing staff still offered a wheelchair which took it felt to
me like hours to come, and I just started walking the long way down the corridor
towards ICU, not knowing what to expect, what I will find.
As I dragged my painful body through the ICU door, I saw a little boy in an
incubator, not washed, and with an awful dark skin color. I asked the nurses on
duty where my son was and they pointed to the dirty little thing by the door.
How could this be I asked my self, this child looks like death. No one explained
the wires, the tubes and what happened to him, not even the Doctor. I didn't
touch him because I didn't know if it would be alright to do so. I was to scared
to speak up and ask, as they all looked so busy with the other babies. I
wondered if he would make it and no one came to reassure me that it will be
okay. After a while I went back to my room. The Gynecologist came and spoke to
me about my tremendous blood loss and that they were scared they might lose me,
my son swallowed amniotic fluids and as a result of the suction they might have
bruised some of his bronchioles. I asked about the blue mark on his head and he
said that the baby was born with the use of forceps. (Forceps during a Caesar?)
Whit many questions just answered vaguely I went home after four days and left
my baby there, all alone. It felt like I have lost my child. I went to hospital
for a happy occasion and came home feeling like I have just left a funeral.
During his 14 or more day stay at ICU I seldom touched him. Fed him once and he
stopped breathing again. But eventually he pulled through and I took him home.
Loved him, fed him and took care of him. In My own way massaging him and telling
him tall he will be okay. The bond was there, but I was detached from this
little person.  So they eventually after four months and many hospital visits
found out that he had reflux, problem solved and he grew up to be eight now. I
hugged, loved and kissed him, but it was easy for me to leave him to others to
take care of him.
Then I attended the IAIM course. A wonderful person by the name of Margo
Kilborn, taught us the instructors course, but also opened our minds eye to what
we have done wrong, what others have done wrong to us, without saying a thing
just going about the classes in a normal caring fashion she got all of us at
some stage to realize that there was something amiss. I found mine in the fact
that I never asked my children particularly the middle one for permission, I
never bonded with him. So at last I went home one night after class and I asked
my son if I may massage him. The look on that child's face I will never forget.
He agreed and I started to massage him. I asked for his forgiveness because I
didn't touch him and never asked for his permission to touch him but just went
about everything my own way. He responded by hugging me and said that he forgave
me and as we looked into each others eyes I realized that he being older did not
stop the bonding process. We started with our bonding and are still going
strong.
Massage is now a must in my house, and the little one now only turning two
demands his massage at night before he goes to sleep, the elder ones wants to be
massaged to have time with me to talk. If I’m massaging them, I
cannot go anywhere, and commit myself to something else, they have my undivided
attention and it is then when they speak out about all that troubles them.
I wish for all to take hands and to go for training on how to massage your
child, and that the outcome will be positive. That we may all learn to respect
our children and that they may learn to respect others and that the circle will
be completed by a healthy society.
More on baby massage next time.
You can mail me suggestions, true stories or request more information from me by
contacting me on hesmari@telkomsa.net.
Charmaine